Smells Like A Mom

I don’t need “mom” jeans for everyone to know that I’m a mom; my kids give that away!  Even when my kids aren’t with me, it is still quite obvious that I am a mom.  We emit an odor that is most easily be compared to ketchup and day-old-milk.  Do not try to deny this fact.  Being a mom is so deep in your pores that even after a shower, the scent is still there – it’s just slightly masked by whatever was on clearance at the smell-good-soap store.

Men over the age of seventy-four are quite attracted to this odor.  Husband, you’d better watch it.  I get hit on almost every day.  So what if the man hitting on me has dentures that are older than I am.  Let’s face it;  I’ve still got it.  Oh, I know what you’re thinking… what exactly does she have?

What don’t I have?  I’ve got the smell and I’ve got the look.  What gives it away?  Even my running attire is very ‘mom’.  My ‘sportswear’ consists of an industrial strength bra beneath a shirt covered with several unidentified substances, paired with cut off shorts that I believe used to be my husbands “sleep pants” covering some Hanes Her Way with shot elastic (which, by the way, have ridden so far into wedgie-land that I can barely walk).

For all of you moms who have it together, who manage to put on make-up and fix your hair in the same day in addition to shaving your legs (b0th of them):  Stop rolling your eyes at me and my mom-ness (but please email all of your tips and tricks to me).  To all of the moms who look a little more, ummm… relaxed like me:  These kids grow up fast.  We will have all the time in the world to make our selves look presentable when they are pre-teens with know-it-all attitudes.