I want to be a good mom, I really do… but sometimes it’s hard!  Advice is everywhere:  books, magazines, shows, friends, family, the crazy lady on aisle 7 at the grocery store.  Everyone has an opinion, and so do I!  Here are a few tips that have helped me survive so far: 

• Be patient.  You’re overworked, haven’t slept more than an hour or two at a time, and your house is a disaster.  You will lose your patience once in a while.  I do.  Take a deep breath, or two, or thirty.  Close your eyes and clear your head when you start getting tense.  I am a little high strung (0kay, al0t) so patience does not come easy for me.  Being a mom has taught me to slow down and realize that my kids aren’t just small, they are mostly helpless and they need me.
• Simplify.  Every minute of every day does not have to be planned.  Sometimes we spend so much time doing ‘stuff’ with our kids that we really don’t spend time with our kids.  Play dates, classes, parties – kids have busy schedules these days!  Even when we are home, I don’t have as much quality time with the boys as I should.  I’m always trying to distract them so I can mark a few things off my ‘to-do’ list.  Try scheduling some time to do nothing other than hang out with the kids doing what they want to do. 
• Laugh.  On Saturday, my two-year-old found an unopened can of Sprite and dropped it on the kitchen floor.  It blew up!  It was on the cabinets, floor, dishwasher, freezer, counter, ceiling, light fixtures, me, my son… I can’t believe how far it went!  It was an accident and my son was upset.  His eyes teared up and his bottom lip came out and he said ‘Sowwy momma’.  I felt so bad for him and I know that he was afraid I would be mad.  I laughed, hugged him and told him that it was okay.  While I was hugging him, my infant threw his sippy cup from his highchair.  The lip popped off and juice was everywhere.  Wow.  What a mess!  Normally, I would have been so upset at the mess knowing how long it would take to clean  but I was able to laugh it off and I did not let this mess get the best of me! 
• Imperfection is okay!  Striving for perfection is ridiculous, especially if you have small children.  Your goal should not be to maintain complete control.  Perfection is impossible!  Accept that the house will often be untidy and that dinner will occassionally be frozen (or take-out).  Don’t sacrifice your sanity!
• Take care of yourself.  We give up so much as moms and often lose touch with the things that once defined us.  You don’t have to surrender all of you to be a good mom.  Find time regularly to do something you love.  Reading, writing, running… showering- it doesn’t matter!  Find a way to work these things into your regular routine.  Whether it is daily, weekly or monthly (unless we are talking about showering because you need to do that way more than once a month), you need you time in order to be a great mom.  We all need to recharge our batteries.
• Love the life you’re living.  Sometimes we feel defeated by the stresses of life and the weight of circumstance.  Burdens really weigh us down.  Parenting, finances, careers, the economy… sometimes the load can be pretty heavy and juggling a crazy schedule doesn’t help.  We have hope!  Don’t let your burden become your identity.  We are told in Psalm 55:22 to ”Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee….”.  Psalm 50:15 says, “Call upon me in the day of trouble:  I will deliver thee and you shall glorify me.”  When we give our troubles back to him, he delivers us.. and by doing so we glorify him.  Don’t hang on to your burden.  Hanging onto our burdens can hinder our ability to love the lives we are living!  Children are truly an amazing blessing and it goes by so fast, don’t let the gravity of it all be diminished by burdens that are not ours to carry.